The End is Nigh... Well, Sort Of.

I've only got one more essay to do and then I've finished my second year of uni! How quickly has this year gone?! I can't believe it, it seems like yesterday was Christmas and now it's nearly May and I'm going back to the Cayman Islands to see Joe and Maria (which I am ridiculously excited for).

I don't have any recent OOTDs for you, many apologies. I've been too busy getting all my work done in time for the 4th so I can go home on time. I'll probably not be blogging a lot over the next couple of weeks, though if I get WiFi at Joe's I can post a few photos and stuff of the beach, just to make you all a little jealous.

Going holiday shopping this weekend. Oh the excitement! Even though I don't actually need that much stuff. Mainly bikinis, because I don't care if I'm fat, I'm wearing one!

Peace out.

Not really an OOTD, but it was Fancy Dress.

My mates birthday was last week, so now we're all back together we went out for it in Preston.
It was fancy dress and instead of spending a load of money that can be saved for my holiday, I decided to use a red spotted dress that I already own and go as Minnie Mouse :)


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Ok, so you can't see the whole outfit, but it's a red polka dot skater dress from Primark (old) but was £10.
The Minnie ears were from a fancy dress shop in Preston - £3.99
I bought some white gloves, but took them off straight away because they were a nightmare when trying to do anything! - £1 from the fancy dress shop.
I wore a chunky black belt that was from Peacocks, black tights and my white Converse (£40 - Schuh).

I had such a good night, dancing along to all the cheesy music in Reflex and then chilling to my indie tunes in Lava (even though we only stayed for half an hour).

We didn't even get a take away on the way home, so proud of us!

Stay fashionable people.

Friday the 13th - OOTD

OOTD - Friday April 13th 2012

So, yeah. This is what I wore on Friday night when I went out for one of my best friend's birthdays. I am in love with this playsuit; I would wear it everyday if I could. It's unbelievably comfortable and baggy, but still flattering. Oh, I dyed my hair pink too as you can see in the bottom picture. It's mostly faded now, but I think I'm going to redo it eventually.

Anyway... outfit details.

Playsuit  - George at Asda (yes, really!) £16.

Belt - Primark £2 

I wore  it with some tan wedges that I got from Next last year (or even the year before) and  this bag
Which is from Red Herring at Debenhams - £20.
I wasn't sure about the clash of patterns, but the bag is huge and meant I could carry around a pair of flat shoes for when my feet started killing me, along with an array of other things.

Hope you like :)

Blog neglection.

Many apologies for not writing for a while, I've been really busy with uni work and stuff. That and I've not really had much that's been that interesting to talk about. I've bought a few new things that I need to take photos of and stuff so I can show you OOTDs and what not. I've also dyed the ends of my hair pink and I'm debating doing it all. The only other notable thing that has happened is that I entered a piece of writing into a competition at university and it's been chosen as one of the winners.

I'll just post that below.

Fat.

Honestly, you have no idea what it’s like.

I’ve been described as “fat” for as long as I can remember. I vividly remember when I was younger my dad telling me I was fat because I didn’t eat at the right times. All because I said I wasn’t hungry. My ‘friends’ at primary school saying that I couldn’t wear certain things because my ‘fat rolls’ would absorb them. They didn’t say it to my face, but it got back to me. Things like that stick in your mind. Forever.

Another thing that always hits home; never being able to borrow clothes from your friends. When everyone can borrow clothes for parties or nights out and you’re stuck with the same old clothes because you’re too fat to wear nice things like everyone else. Wearing jeans and t-shirts all the time because you’re too scared that people will laugh at you if you wear a skirt. Yeah, that’s what my life was like for a very long time.

Going through secondary school was just as bad. People were nicer, but my self-confidence was at an all-time low. I wouldn’t dare answer questions because I thought if I got something wrong people would laugh at the ‘stupid, fat girl’; dreading the times that my teacher would call my name to offer an answer. At least then I was sat down, giving a presentation was the worst. My nerves would consume me and I would stutter and make mistakes. Even in front of people that I’ve spoken to all before one-to-one. The worse times were when I had to do readings in assembly, in front of the entire school. All those eyes staring at you and all the time in my head, all I could hear is “they think you’re fat, they’re laughing at you because you’re overweight”.

I could get myself into a horrible state. I would cry myself to sleep all because I loathed the way I looked. I would grab my stomach and will that I could pull off some extra weight. All the while playing different scenarios in my head where I was thinner, and what I thought was, better. Some days I would spend hours getting ready just to go shopping or to the cinema and I would end up in floods of tears on my bed because I couldn’t find something to wear. I would look in the mirror and just see fat. Fat, fat, fat. That’s all I could see, and because of that I couldn’t see that actually half the stuff I was trying on suited me and looked good. I would just see this hideous creature staring back at me with a crimson, blotchy face. I would sit and ponder for hours how I could quickly lose weight, or if it would make me feel better about myself if I did. I tried numerous diets: Weight Watcher, Atkins and Slimfast to name a few. Yes, they worked, but I would have one bad day and ruin everything. Then I would go back to despising my body and my looks. No matter what anyone said, I wouldn’t change my opinion on myself. In my eyes I was morbidly obese and repulsive. My ex-boyfriend would argue with me relentlessly, because I wouldn’t give myself a break.

Finally, a few years down the line I’ve started to work on my self-esteem, self-confidence and most importantly me. I’ve finally started listening to people. I look in the mirror and don’t abhor the person looking back at me. Yes, some days I still cry and wish I had a body that everyone would be jealous of, but who doesn’t. I’ve come to terms with the fact that some shops just make sizes smaller than others. If I don’t like the tag, I just cut it out. Why should I have to feel like I’m worth less because I carry a little more weight? Well, I shouldn’t. I’m just as much of a person as the size 0 models. Granted, yes, I am trying to lose some weight, but that’s more for health reasons and I have vowed to never be a size 0. Who says you can’t be a little chunky? I’ve become more daring with fashion, and I care less about what people think about my thighs, arms and stomach. There are some fashions that I tend to avoid, because my confidence isn’t quite up there yet. However, I wear what I like and give a huge middle finger in the air to those people who say that I’m ‘too fat’ to carry them off.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where if you don’t look a certain way or wear a certain size you’re deemed less of a person. Well, I say that I am more of a person for trying to change society’s standards and I applaud those that already do. We all need to realise that, we should love ourselves no matter what we look like, because if we don’t love ourselves then we seem to point out ‘flaws’ of other people just to make ourselves feel better. Just remember, the next time you call someone fat, think about how you would feel if they pointed out your insecurity. People aren’t always what they seem.

So, yeah, that's what happened to me.