2012 is upon us.

Following everyone else on the planet I have some new years resolutions.

The first is to lose weight, as it is every year. However, this year I am actually going to try.

The second is to stop trying to please people all the time. They don't do it for me, so why should I do it for them?

The third is to improve my self-confidence. I cannot remember the last time I believed in myself, so this year I'm going to work on that.

The fourth, and final, resolution is to be more organised. I know I'm not terrible but I feel if I organised even the simplest of things - like my room, then I might be able to calm down more.

Hopefully, I will be able to stick to all of these and I will feel the benefits. 

Yeah, so not much else. I'm stupidly awake because the last few days have messed up my sleeping pattern. I'm going to go and read a book I've read countless times before and get cosy in my bed. I've not slept in my bed since the 27th of December. I'll miss waking up and going to sleep with my boy the next couple of days. It's been so nice living at his, and we had no arguments which, honestly, surprised me. Either way, it stands in good stead for the future :)

Oh, how I hope I can drift off to sleep. 

'tis the season.

The festive season is most definitely upon us and true to my usual style, I am horribly unorganised. I have presents to wrap, cards to write and people to see. I've been at home nearly a week and barely done anything. I've not even found something to analyse for my assignment. Ah well, that can be done next week.

I've been in a terrible mood these past couple of days. I just need to scream or do something that I want to do for a change. I want to spend some time with my boyfriend. Just me and him, is that so selfish of me? I wouldn't mind, but he keeps telling me he's free and then making plans with other people. But, because he's told me that he's free I've not made any plans because he wants me to help him get organised for Christmas too. I just feel a bit like he doesn't realise this. Well, he probably doesn't because I haven't told him. No, I choose to broadcast stuff like that on the internet. Rather than actually telling him to his face.

I should also really be asleep, as I'm knackered, but I'm that tired that I can't be bothered to actually get ready for bed. Ah, I just need Christmas day to come quickly, so mum and dad can go away and I can live at John's and do my work and just relax. It'll be nice.

I was really looking forward to Christmas, but as it draws closer and closer, I realise why I'm usually so "bah humbug" in my disposition when it comes to the festive period. I'll try my best to be jolly....

falalalalalalalaaa.

This world is fucking terrible.

Things happen to people that shouldn't. God, you've got some serious making up to do.

Essay battles.

Yes, I'm battling along with an essay again. I don't feel so stupid with this one though.

Oh yeah, I got 72% (a first) with the essay I was crying over. Happy times.

My current essay is due in in 4 days and I've only got 1313 words left to write, I'm quite proud of myself, I wrote about 900 words in about 4 hours yesterday. Doesn't seem a lot but when you're searching through books at the same time, it's not bad going. I don't know if I'll do as well on this essay, but I hope I at least get a 2:1. I'd be happy with that.

In other news, only 6 days until I'm home for Christmas! I can't wait. Chesnuts roasting on an open fire... well, not quite. Probably more like having a hot chocolate cuddled up on the sofa, but I think I prefer it my way. I just want to see my family and have a ridiculously massive turkey dinner. NOM. Food is by far the best bit about Christmas (and I wonder why I'm overweight). I don't even care, I love food.

I actually don't have much to write about, I'm just putting off my essay which I really shouldn't. I need to get it done, I want to try and write another 1000 words today then I'll have it done for tomorrow - hopefully. I wish I could just avoid everything. I turn facebook off and then get distracted by twitter or tumblr or this! Gah.

Best be off.

PS, our house is like an igloo.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

It's only 19 days until Christmas, what is that about?

I have a week to write my essay and 10 days until I finish university for three whole weeks.

Three weeks without the stress of this house! Then, I get to spend Christmas day with my family before going to my boyfriend's house to spend the night with him. He's the reason I look forward to Christmas, he really is. I get to see all my friends from home and I can't wait, I've missed them all so much. My mum and dad are going away for new year, so I'm going to live at John's for a few days which is going to be so good. I'll do my essay while he's at work, then I'm going to be a proper little housewife and cook for him and keep the house tidy; mainly, so I have something to do when my essay is making me want to throw my laptop at the wall.

I only have a few more presents to buy, which I'm going to get when I go back to Sheffield. It seems pointless buying them here to lump all the way home.

What else? Oh, I spent last night in Manchester with my mum. It was lovely, we spent the day shopping and then we got a little tipsy together and had a McDonald's for tea. Like having a night out with my mum, brilliant.

The only thing that will be missing this Christmas will be my brother and Maria, they're coming home in January for my dad's birthday so they can't come home for Christmas. They didn't last year, but I still miss my big brother.

Until next time, take care.

I'm so lucky.

I know I complain about a lot of stuff, but I do know how lucky I actually am. I am at university on my way to getting the best career that I can - even if I don't actually know what career that is. I have an amazing family that do everything for me. They give me not only what I need, but what I want too. I have some of the best friends that people could ever wish for. They are there for me when I need them and always provide a shoulder to cry on. I also have the most wonderful boyfriend. He does everything that you wish for when you want a boyfriend. He ticks all the boxes. I'm so lucky, even if sometimes it doesn't always feel like it.

Nondescript post.

I haven't really got much to mention since I last wrote, but I don't want to get behind. I went home on the 18th, and it was one of the nicest weekends I spent with my boyfriend. Went went for Tapas on Friday (which was lovely, never had it before but I plan on having it again). Then his mate came round and we watched a film and just snuggled up together all night and I fell asleep on him during Despicable Me. Saturday night we had dinner with his family and did the same again. Just sat and watched DVDs, including Early Doors, which we both love. Then Sunday we went Christmas shopping and bought him some Christmas decorations for his house, just like a married couple. I know it's the most basic sounding weekend, but those little things that we do are my favourite things. He stopped at mine Sunday night because I was back at university on Monday, and in the morning I had to really hold my tears back because I might not be seeing him for about a month now. It's such an awful feeling, that ache you get in your heart when you can't see the person that you want to see the most. Don't get me wrong, I miss my friends and family loads when I'm away, but I yearn for John. I miss being able to fall asleep and wake up next to him. It's my most favourite thing about being home. I cannot wait for my Christmas break, because I get to spend loads of time with him and even live at his house for a while because my parents are going away and I don't want to stop in the house on my own. Unless I have a party with my friends one of the nights :).

Other than that, I'm back at university now. Starting to get ready to do more assignments though two have been pushed back until after Christmas which is excellent news. I'm not stressing as much now. And doing my assignments makes the days go quicker until I get to go home and see all my favourite people again.

For the first time since I was about 12, I'm looking forward to Christmas.