Essay battles.

Yes, I'm battling along with an essay again. I don't feel so stupid with this one though.

Oh yeah, I got 72% (a first) with the essay I was crying over. Happy times.

My current essay is due in in 4 days and I've only got 1313 words left to write, I'm quite proud of myself, I wrote about 900 words in about 4 hours yesterday. Doesn't seem a lot but when you're searching through books at the same time, it's not bad going. I don't know if I'll do as well on this essay, but I hope I at least get a 2:1. I'd be happy with that.

In other news, only 6 days until I'm home for Christmas! I can't wait. Chesnuts roasting on an open fire... well, not quite. Probably more like having a hot chocolate cuddled up on the sofa, but I think I prefer it my way. I just want to see my family and have a ridiculously massive turkey dinner. NOM. Food is by far the best bit about Christmas (and I wonder why I'm overweight). I don't even care, I love food.

I actually don't have much to write about, I'm just putting off my essay which I really shouldn't. I need to get it done, I want to try and write another 1000 words today then I'll have it done for tomorrow - hopefully. I wish I could just avoid everything. I turn facebook off and then get distracted by twitter or tumblr or this! Gah.

Best be off.

PS, our house is like an igloo.

I feel so stupid.

Seriously, this essay is doing my head in. I feel so stupid because I simply cannot fathom what to write. I have all my ideas, quotes and sources ready to go and I cannot put it all together to make a good essay. I always do it to myself. I overcomplicate things, then over-think them and then cannot write any ideas down even though I'm pretty sure that most of what I'm thinking is write because I've double checked with everyone else who is doing the same question as me.

I can write this blog no problem, I love writing. However, as soon as it comes to writing that I know is going to be assessed I stress myself out and I just cannot bring myself to write anything because I'm so scared of failing. Even though I've never failed anything before. I know I'm not stupid, but I make myself feel it so often that I'm not so sure now. It takes my brain a while to fully process concepts and while everyone else is happily writing away, I'm sat making plans and still trying to grasp the ideas.

:'(