'tis the season.

The festive season is most definitely upon us and true to my usual style, I am horribly unorganised. I have presents to wrap, cards to write and people to see. I've been at home nearly a week and barely done anything. I've not even found something to analyse for my assignment. Ah well, that can be done next week.

I've been in a terrible mood these past couple of days. I just need to scream or do something that I want to do for a change. I want to spend some time with my boyfriend. Just me and him, is that so selfish of me? I wouldn't mind, but he keeps telling me he's free and then making plans with other people. But, because he's told me that he's free I've not made any plans because he wants me to help him get organised for Christmas too. I just feel a bit like he doesn't realise this. Well, he probably doesn't because I haven't told him. No, I choose to broadcast stuff like that on the internet. Rather than actually telling him to his face.

I should also really be asleep, as I'm knackered, but I'm that tired that I can't be bothered to actually get ready for bed. Ah, I just need Christmas day to come quickly, so mum and dad can go away and I can live at John's and do my work and just relax. It'll be nice.

I was really looking forward to Christmas, but as it draws closer and closer, I realise why I'm usually so "bah humbug" in my disposition when it comes to the festive period. I'll try my best to be jolly....

falalalalalalalaaa.

This world is fucking terrible.

Things happen to people that shouldn't. God, you've got some serious making up to do.

Essay battles.

Yes, I'm battling along with an essay again. I don't feel so stupid with this one though.

Oh yeah, I got 72% (a first) with the essay I was crying over. Happy times.

My current essay is due in in 4 days and I've only got 1313 words left to write, I'm quite proud of myself, I wrote about 900 words in about 4 hours yesterday. Doesn't seem a lot but when you're searching through books at the same time, it's not bad going. I don't know if I'll do as well on this essay, but I hope I at least get a 2:1. I'd be happy with that.

In other news, only 6 days until I'm home for Christmas! I can't wait. Chesnuts roasting on an open fire... well, not quite. Probably more like having a hot chocolate cuddled up on the sofa, but I think I prefer it my way. I just want to see my family and have a ridiculously massive turkey dinner. NOM. Food is by far the best bit about Christmas (and I wonder why I'm overweight). I don't even care, I love food.

I actually don't have much to write about, I'm just putting off my essay which I really shouldn't. I need to get it done, I want to try and write another 1000 words today then I'll have it done for tomorrow - hopefully. I wish I could just avoid everything. I turn facebook off and then get distracted by twitter or tumblr or this! Gah.

Best be off.

PS, our house is like an igloo.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

It's only 19 days until Christmas, what is that about?

I have a week to write my essay and 10 days until I finish university for three whole weeks.

Three weeks without the stress of this house! Then, I get to spend Christmas day with my family before going to my boyfriend's house to spend the night with him. He's the reason I look forward to Christmas, he really is. I get to see all my friends from home and I can't wait, I've missed them all so much. My mum and dad are going away for new year, so I'm going to live at John's for a few days which is going to be so good. I'll do my essay while he's at work, then I'm going to be a proper little housewife and cook for him and keep the house tidy; mainly, so I have something to do when my essay is making me want to throw my laptop at the wall.

I only have a few more presents to buy, which I'm going to get when I go back to Sheffield. It seems pointless buying them here to lump all the way home.

What else? Oh, I spent last night in Manchester with my mum. It was lovely, we spent the day shopping and then we got a little tipsy together and had a McDonald's for tea. Like having a night out with my mum, brilliant.

The only thing that will be missing this Christmas will be my brother and Maria, they're coming home in January for my dad's birthday so they can't come home for Christmas. They didn't last year, but I still miss my big brother.

Until next time, take care.

I'm so lucky.

I know I complain about a lot of stuff, but I do know how lucky I actually am. I am at university on my way to getting the best career that I can - even if I don't actually know what career that is. I have an amazing family that do everything for me. They give me not only what I need, but what I want too. I have some of the best friends that people could ever wish for. They are there for me when I need them and always provide a shoulder to cry on. I also have the most wonderful boyfriend. He does everything that you wish for when you want a boyfriend. He ticks all the boxes. I'm so lucky, even if sometimes it doesn't always feel like it.

Nondescript post.

I haven't really got much to mention since I last wrote, but I don't want to get behind. I went home on the 18th, and it was one of the nicest weekends I spent with my boyfriend. Went went for Tapas on Friday (which was lovely, never had it before but I plan on having it again). Then his mate came round and we watched a film and just snuggled up together all night and I fell asleep on him during Despicable Me. Saturday night we had dinner with his family and did the same again. Just sat and watched DVDs, including Early Doors, which we both love. Then Sunday we went Christmas shopping and bought him some Christmas decorations for his house, just like a married couple. I know it's the most basic sounding weekend, but those little things that we do are my favourite things. He stopped at mine Sunday night because I was back at university on Monday, and in the morning I had to really hold my tears back because I might not be seeing him for about a month now. It's such an awful feeling, that ache you get in your heart when you can't see the person that you want to see the most. Don't get me wrong, I miss my friends and family loads when I'm away, but I yearn for John. I miss being able to fall asleep and wake up next to him. It's my most favourite thing about being home. I cannot wait for my Christmas break, because I get to spend loads of time with him and even live at his house for a while because my parents are going away and I don't want to stop in the house on my own. Unless I have a party with my friends one of the nights :).

Other than that, I'm back at university now. Starting to get ready to do more assignments though two have been pushed back until after Christmas which is excellent news. I'm not stressing as much now. And doing my assignments makes the days go quicker until I get to go home and see all my favourite people again.

For the first time since I was about 12, I'm looking forward to Christmas.

Remembrance/Armistice Day.

I've just finished reading an article about a ban on a Muslim extremist group that burned poppies on last years memorial day.

I am in no way intending to be racist with this post, I just want to state my views.

I just don't understand how they can be so disrespectful. If it wasn't for the people who died in that war for this country, as far as we know this country wouldn't be how it was today. Yet, they choose to live here, do they not? Don't protest something that is so much part of British culture and then complain about how this country 'treats' you if you're going to continue to live here. Even if these protesters were born in England, there is nothing stopping them moving to another country if they feel that this country is so terrible.

I just feel like if someone who was an extremist here, e.g the English Defence League, it would be dealt with in a more severe way in other countries.

Yes, we've banned the group. However, as I read in the aforementioned article, it is believe this group has just to continue to rename itself every time it has been banned.

Make a choice: live here, and respect the culture and the heritage, or move.

Seems simple to me.

I feel so stupid.

Seriously, this essay is doing my head in. I feel so stupid because I simply cannot fathom what to write. I have all my ideas, quotes and sources ready to go and I cannot put it all together to make a good essay. I always do it to myself. I overcomplicate things, then over-think them and then cannot write any ideas down even though I'm pretty sure that most of what I'm thinking is write because I've double checked with everyone else who is doing the same question as me.

I can write this blog no problem, I love writing. However, as soon as it comes to writing that I know is going to be assessed I stress myself out and I just cannot bring myself to write anything because I'm so scared of failing. Even though I've never failed anything before. I know I'm not stupid, but I make myself feel it so often that I'm not so sure now. It takes my brain a while to fully process concepts and while everyone else is happily writing away, I'm sat making plans and still trying to grasp the ideas.

:'(

Unnecessarily soppy post.

I love my boyfriend. I realise this more and more everyday. We've been together almost two years and I've never been happier. He's the boy that you see other people wishing they had.

He tells me I'm beautiful, gorgeous and sexy. He sends me lovely texts. He looks after me when I'm sick. He isn't afraid to tell people that I'm his girlfriend. He lets me cry on him. He makes me laugh when I can barely smile. He lets me rant. He pays attention when I'm talking about university work. He makes an effort with my family and friends. He spoils me. He never makes me do anything I don't want to. He's always there. He's proved himself trustworthy. He's one of a very small minority that I can open up to- if not the only person. He de-stresses me. He said he'd always wait for me. He said he wants to be with me forever and marry me.

He's my world.

I love him in a way that defies comprehension.

Society.

Some people today really make me question today's society.

Earlier today I was walking to the shop with my friend and there was a used pregnancy test just discarded on the street. I mean, really, what is wrong with people today? You wouldn't just leave a pregnancy test in the street, whether you were pregnant or not. I realise that not everyone is like this but some people seriously disgust me. Like I was in my shopping centre the other day and there was a used condom on the floor! It was awful.

What has happened to society? No one seems to care about anything any more. They don't care about themselves, other people or the world around them and it really irritates me sometimes.

I realise that, yes, sometimes I don't care about what people think about me but some people are just oblivious to rules and norms. It's worrying. People who don't have a job, nor ever seem to want one. How can they function, I don't know what if I didn't have the prospect of a future or something to do in life. I realise they get money for nothing but it's almost like they don't have a purpose in life. How can you be ok with that?

Sorry for this rant; all caused by a used pregnancy test!

Budapest aftermath...

So, I'm back from Budapest. I had a really good time, despite thinking that I probably wouldn't enjoy it.

We walked a ridiculous amount of miles. We saw the Palace, Parliament buildings, St. Stephen's Basilica and went to The House of Terror. It was all really interesting, but The House of Terror freaked me out a little bit. Well, it'd freak you out knowing you'd been in a house where thousands of Hungarians had been tortured and killed during Nazi and Soviet Union occupation. Yeah, very creepy.

What else?

Oh we went to Széchenyi baths. It's like a natural spring thing. I went into the sauna and actually burnt my feet on the floor, that was awful. I also had to buy a hideous swimming costume because I forgot to take one because I wasn't originally planning on going. It was awful, so unflattering so I felt even worse than I would've done if I'd taken one of my own. The bath's stunk inside because of the sulphur. If I was more hungover I would've vommed!

Oh yes, the night before I was absolutely hammered. I had a dance off and threw up in the club's toilets. I'm a classy bird I know. It's not my fault; red wine is the devil. It was so good to get away. Me and John had some lovely moments and I loved every second with him.

The only thing I didn't like was the lack of sleep, my feet hurting and the flights. Other than that, it was all good.

I'm 20 now, how bizarre.

Yes, as the title states I turned 20 not so long ago. 25 days to be exact. It's not that much different from being 19, except I'm no longer a teenager and suddenly feel compelled to start using a more sophisticated vocabulary. I always feel like it's expected of me anyway, because I'm an English Language student. So yes, I'm now in my second year at university and I'm enjoying it far more. I got to pick the modules that I wanted to do and I also don't have to live with such infuriating housemates. Well, one of my housemates is still quite annoying, but I don't really want to talk about it, as it will cause this whole post to spiral off topic.

Me and John are still together, 22 months and going strong. He makes me so happy, even if he doesn't always feel like he does. We're actually off to Budapest on Thursday with some of his friends. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not though. As bad as it sounds, I don't actually like all his friends.

What else have I got to tell you? Oh yes, my brother and his girlfriend have moved to the Cayman Islands in the Caribbean and we went out to see him in June. It was the best holiday I've ever had. They live in pure paradise. It's amazing. I went snorkelling (properly) for the first time and saw a ridiculous amount of fish I never thought I'd see. I also went and saw some Stingrays. I got to feed them and I also kissed one. It was a strange experience, I must admit, but how many people can say they've done that?

You can't say that you're not jealous of that.

Anyway, yes, not much else to discuss for now. Therefore, I shall sign off for the time being.

:)